Terrified: It Ain't Over 'Till the Fat Lady Sings
by EscapedManiac911
Summary: Celia's back with a whole new whirlwind of trouble. The Diamond Dragon thing gets more complicated, made more complicated by my new dramatic subplots! oow sub plots. Read, Review, and be happy.
1. Default Chapter

Fresh Start, Renewed Hate  
  
Hi People. I have returned with new vigor. Be prepared for new characters, inane pointless cameos, and Celia figuring out the truth. Well anyhow let's pick up where we last left off. Oh, and for the people who have yet to read Terrified, here is a brief summary of what last happened: Stuff happened. Now on wit da fun!  
  
Disclaimer: Yeah, I own POTC, and giant green monkeys are flying out of your ass.  
  
Celia groaned. This was so uncomfortable. She was crammed under a desk tucked into a ball. She was hiding. Her ass hurt, her legs were cramping, her ass hurt, she had a headache, and her ass hurt. Okay, maybe this wasn't the best location of hideouts. Right about now she could think of one infinitely better hidings spot: in front of a loaded cannon. GOD DAMNIT! What kind of pansy was she being? She could get through this, she could be brave, and she could be- OOW! She got a booboo on her finger. She rammed it into the damn desk, and God it hurt. Why was she down here anyway? Oh yeah...  
  
Flashback  
  
"You go that way, and get all the ammunition you can find. You go that way and... err-do stuff." Jack was pointing in random directions and ordering people around. It was obnoxious. She noticed he kind of puffed himself out whenever he was giving orders, kind of like a frog does. Well, no not when a frog was giving orders because frogs can't, and don't give orders. She was referring to the way they puffed out their throat and- screw it, you get it or you don't.  
  
"And you-"he said spinning around to look at Celia, "You go hide, and don't do anything stupid." She could do that! She-She could do that! For once she was ordered to do something she could actually do!  
  
Flashback within a Flashback  
  
"I need you to climb up that tree, and get the cat out, ok?" Celia nodded, and turned toward the tree. Suddenly it seemed pretty damn tall, and the cat seemed miles up, and unworthy of her help. She should walk away, and she would. Screw Nathaniel, and screw the cat.  
  
"Na-Nathaniel, on second thought, I'd better no- AAAAGH!" She was interrupted by Nathaniel grabbing her and tossing her up to the first branch. She grabbed and clutched the limb for dear life, swinging her legs up grabbing the branch with them as well. Jesus, if there was anyone up there would they PLEASE not let her fall. She'd do everything the bible said. She swore to it.  
  
"Celia, keep going, you've got to get the cat!" Nathaniel yelled from what seemed like miles away.  
  
"NO! I-I can't go any higher. I-f I fall I'll die. I'm too high up, PLEASE GET ME DOWN!!" Celia shrieked begging for his mercy.  
  
"Uh- Celia you're only four feet from the ground at most. You can just put your feet on the ground."  
  
"NO I CAN'T I'LL DIE!"  
  
"Err- no you won't, seriously just put your feet on the ground. That's all you have to do."  
  
"I DON'T WANT TO DIIIIIIIIIEEEE!"  
  
"I'm just going to walk away." Nathaniel turned and walked away, leaving Celia shrieking four feet from the ground.  
  
End Flashback... err the one inside the first one, you know the second one, I think  
  
The cat thing was awful, but she could run and hide. She was great at that. She gave Jack a mock salute and ran off.  
  
End first flash back, the original one.  
  
Damn, she couldn't do anything, the one thing she thought she could do, run and hide, she'd managed to screw up, of coarse this shouldn't surprise her, she'd screwed it up before. With those insane twins (wink wink). No, don't think about them she'd only get upset. They were, well, if she never saw them again, it would be too soon.  
  
She sucked on the owie on her finger. What she needed was some mild amusement, she briefly remember the invention of the Banana Song. That great, amazing, wonderful song had come from boredom right? So maybe she could come up with another great thing. Like maybe she could, err, make up a game. No, she didn't have the attention span needed to do that. Oh screw it, she was already bored with the idea of coming up with stuff. She decided to sing the Banana Song a few times, and think of ways to slaughter thousands. Maybe she'd think up a way to rid the world of all she despised, namely everyone, and everything, save herself, and dessert.

Lady tapped her fingers against the side of the ship. She watched the men walking around, doing all sorts of shippy things. This entertained her very much.  
  
"Hungry?" She looked up at the owner of the voice, he looked mildly familiar, like someone she'd met, but only in passing. Oh well.  
  
"No. I hate you." The guy looked slightly offended, and walked off. Her stomach growled as he left. Ok truth be told she was hungry, and didn't hate him, of coarse truth be told, she could use that phrase after everything she said. Oh well life trucks on.  
  
"You're willing to let yourself starve for no absolute reason other than you like to lie?" Lacey glared down at her sister.  
  
"Nope." Truth be told...  
  
"You're an idiot. I am only glad it hasn't rubbed off on my wonderful intellect. You must feel blessed to be in such wonderful company, I... blah blah blah blah blaaaaaaaaah." Lady tined out Lacey's 'I'm soooo amazing' speech. The only thing larger than Lacey's ego was her big fat head. Well her head wasn't fat because by saying its fat, Lady was saying that her head was also fat, as they were completely identical. She looked up at Lacey.  
  
"Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah." Lady cocked her head to the side. Why was the sky blue? Was there some stupid reason, or was it just one of those 'it just is, so shut up and except it' things? Probably the latter oh well. Did birds sweat? How did they keep cool? Was there some method, or was it purely migration? She sighed, and rubbed her temples, soon realizing that Lacey was still talking. Lady sat on the deck, and laid her head back, now would be a good time for a nap.

Celia had now sung the banana song thirty-six times, and imagined over one hundred sixty-six deaths. She was on super death mode. It was her record. Never had she thought of so many deaths consecutively. Celia twiddled her thumbs, and listened. Maybe her hiding spot did make a little sense. She'd picked a spot far from the sounds of gunfire; in fact she could barely hear it. All she could hear was her breathing, oh and the approaching footsteps. Wow they sure were getting close, and wait a minute, what the hell was she thinking? There were approaching footsteps, and she hadn't the faintest clue whose they were, and she was being calm. She panicked. She must have eaten something. Of God, what if she died? Still her thoughts not on the footsteps, well not until the door swung open. Okay now she was panicking about the footsteps, and whomever they may have belonged to. She peeped under the desk, and watched the boots cross the room; they were moving toward the desk. Oh God, Oh Jesus. PLEASE DON'T LET HER DIE! Not yet, she still needed to do- err- something. Okay, so she didn't have anything she really had to do, but still, she didn't want to die.  
  
The boots walked around the side of the desk, and a hand came under the desk, and grabbed at Celia.  
  
Review please. Maybe that was a little sadistic, but oh well. My sister called me a bitch after reading this. 


	2. GOD DAMN IT!

GOD DAMN IT!  
  
Hey people, I'm back, and all that goodness. School's out and crap. I'm going to get graphically violent in this chapter, and it's likely to be a reoccurrence, so I upped the rating to R. Don't worry I'll warn ya when it happens. Now let's read. TFTD: Sheeps are fuzzy.  
  
Celia had pushed herself back as far as she could go, moving the desk about a foot backward in the process. Screw stealth. All that mattered right now was getting away. She may have been screwed, but at least she knew she'd tried. After she found she could move no more, her heart leapt... and her left eye twitched, and we all know what that means. She sucked in air leaned forward and bit down as hard as she could muster, breaking the skin. She gagged, as blood seeped into her mouth. She felt kind of like a vampire, well if vampires hated blood, and were afraid of the dark, and of other vampires. She pulled back and spat out the icky copper-y liquid. Okay maybe not a vampire, but she definitely did feel gross.  
  
"GOD DAMN IT!" Uh-oh, that voice sounded familiar. Oh hell. The hand had rapidly retreated after having been bitten. Celia groaned and crawled out from under the table to look up at Jack.  
  
"Heh- err, sorry?" Celia said grinning nervously up at him. He looked down at her with murder in his eyes.  
  
"You know, in my defense, you gave me no reason to think it was you. I mean you could have said something or warned me. How was I supposed to know it- was- you're- not listening." Celia's eyes went wide as he pulled out his gun.  
  
"I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!" She begged flinging herself at his feet. She heard the pistol cock. Oh God, oh JESUS! Tears welled in her eyes. NOOOO! She didn't even get a last dessert! Her miserable life filled with woe, and random terrors flashed before her eyes. Was that really her life? Was she really that pathetic? Damn. She'd always pretended that she wasn't that feeble, she tried to think of her life as a story, of coarse it had a lousy plot, but damn check out that character development!  
  
The pistol fired as Celia shrieked out NOOO! There was no pain. Did that mean she was dying? She'd heard that it wasn't all too painful, but she hadn't even felt the bullet make contact. She looked around, no blood, no wound. She looked behind her. Lots of blood, and the splattered remains of a... rat, yes a rat.  
  
"'Remembered y' not likin' them." Jack said putting away his gun with an evil grin on his face. Celia looked up at him panting. He looked down at his hand and frowned.  
  
"I'm gonna have t' get y' back for that one, lass, I hope you realize." Celia sat back numbly. Wow what a bastard he was. God DAMN IT! On the plus side she was alive, on the negative side, she thought she might have pissed herself. Jack leaned down and yanked her up from the ground.  
  
"And I think I know th' perfect way." He said looking from his hand to Celia's. The bad one. Oh shit. Was it too late for the bullet?

!

Lady and Lacey were staring each other down. Pure hate in each of their eyes. All those that'd passed by had taken a step back due to the extreme intensity of the glare. Neither dared to look at those passing by. Lady cocked her head to the side in a display of dominance met by Lacey's cock of the head, and an arm crossing. Lady's nostrils flared. They leaned in closer and bared their teeth. It was a very primal display, and the pure animalistic instinct was almost palpable. Lady's eyes watered, and NOO! OH GOD, she blinked.  
  
"AHAHAHA! I win! Admit my superiority. I am the greatest, and no one else can ever aspire to my amazingness." Lacey grinned, and blinked in triumph. Damn it now she'd be on an ego trip for days. Lady would be damned if she let that happen... again.  
  
"Fine." It was a challenge. Lady smirked as Lacey's face contorted with rage at the simple statement, which usually meant an acceptance of defeat, but not for Lady.  
  
"You dare to challenge me? You think you can defeat me? The mere idea is laughable, see, watch me laugh. AHAHAHA!" Came Lacey's reply..  
  
"Fine, we'll have another round, but I will defeat you, for I am the ultimate stare-er." Lady grinned at Lacey's words. She was such a nitwit.  
  
"Let's play that again." Lady responded. Her smirk rising ever so slightly.  
  
"What do you mean, what else can I prove that I am better than you in?" Lacey said pushing a lock of hair behind her ear.  
  
"How about a breath holding contest." Lacey offered. BUWAHAHAHAHA! Lacey had played right into Lady's hands. Lacey had always beat her in that area, but Lady had been practicing, and she could-  
  
"Hate t' interrupt this, but the captain would like a word with- uhh- "The owner of the voice was a tall, lanky man with dark brown hair. He looked from one to the other trying to tell them apart.  
  
"Which one of you is the one with the ego?" He asked. Lacey gritted her teeth. Lady grinned in silent triumph. At least she received a blow to her ego.  
  
"I do NOT have an ego!" She growled, "I can't help it if I'm just that great."  
  
"All right then, you need to go talk to the captain." He said pointing at Lacey. She crossed her arms over her chest, hunched, pouted, and walked off muttering angrily. Lady put her hands behind her head. Only a head as fat as Lacey's could contain such an ego. Lady snickered at the though  
  
"And that makes you the liar." Lady shook her head, and grinned. Poor fool.  
  
"No, I kill people, but not with guns." WARNING graphic description of badness up ahead. You've been warned, so no bitching "I like to gouge people's eyes out, gut them with spoons, rip out their bowels and hang them with it. Did I mention I've been convicted of witch craft ten times?" VIOLENCE OVER Lady watched the man's eyes go wide, and begin a hasty retreat. Lady got up and walked casually after him with an odd glint in her eyes. Lying was loads of fun, but not nearly as fun as the follow-through. She loved to torture all of these morons; they were so pathetic, and predictable. She picked up her pace to a speed walk, and continued to follow the now sprinting man, but hey, where could he run? They were on a ship.

!

"Calm down, th' sooner y' shut up, and calm down, th' sooner it'll be over." Jack was sitting on top of Celia pinning her down. He had a good grip on her wrist, but for how long was the issue. Celia was thrashing around madly.  
  
"NO! I WON'T GO DOWN THAT EASILY!" Celia continued to thrash angrily and worked her hardest to wrench free of Jack's grasp. She looked like a fish out of water, but damned if she cared. If that dickweed thought that she was just going to sit there and let him rip open her hand, then he could just rot in hell.  
  
"Lass-"Jack began, but was interrupted by the door swinging open.  
  
"Hey we need to-"George fell silent by the spectacle in the room he had just entered. He grinned.  
  
"Need some help?" George asked nonchalantly.  
  
"YES!" Celia yelled back.  
  
"I was talking to the captain." George said eyes glittering maliciously. He walked over and plopped down on Celia next to Jack. Celia groaned in pain when he hit her belly painfully, and ceased movement for a moment, only a moment, but that was all that was need. Jack, reacting quickly grabbed his knife and slashed Celia's palm along the scar. Celia shrieked loudly. THE PAIN! OH DEAR GOD! SWEET MERCIFUL HEAVEN WHY?  
  
"Jeez Celia, it's not a big deal, It's not like he stabbed you in the gut." George said with that 'so what' tone of voice he often used when talking to Celia.  
  
"NO YOU JERK! I'M GOING TO DIE! AAAGH! Oh no. It-it's getting dark. I can't see anything! Please lord have mercy on my soul!" Celia whined. Jack turned and looked at George.  
  
"Was she always like this?" Jack asked.  
  
"As long as I've known her." Came George's reply. Jack sighed.  
  
"Right, now we've got to get that thing out."  
  
Sorry it took me so long, but vacations and crap. Well I'm glad to be back, and providing you fine people with dysfunction. 


	3. Wrong One

Wrong One

Okay, I won't lie with excuses. Plain and simply, I forgot. Forgot to write, and everything. I feel bad, but all I can say is I'm sorry.

Celia screamed. With the intense agony of having something forced out of her hand. Hot DAMN it hurt, then again, she'd always been somewhat of a pansy. Her legs were flailing, and she was doing her best to throw the two off, which basically meant occasionally she'd get the strength to shake a little, flop once, and give up panting.

"Got it!" Came a triumphant yell from atop her. Celia sobbed in relief.

"Oh..." Her head snapped immediately She didn't like that word.

"WHAT?! What's wrong?" She asked panicking.

"I don' know what this thing is, but it ain't what I'm after." Jack said pensively. Celia felt her face get red. No way! NO FRIGGEN WAY!

"AAARRRGGG! YOU HAD BETTER BE WRONG! You bastard! All the shit I've been put through, and you mean to tell me I'm the wrong person!? That's it. I'm going to kill you, simple as that. I will kill you. Oh, and you too George." Celia was flailing herself from underneath the two, managing to force them off, and she leapt to her feet.

"Me? What did I do?" George asked innocently from where he sat. Celia narrowed her eyes, and silently mouthed 'I'll kill you.'

Lady followed Lacey off the ship; they'd just docked at port somewhere. She hadn't been paying attention to the details, oh well. She stood looking around the dock for a moment. The dock was busy with the bustling of everyday life of landed sailors, and dockworkers. She grinned, and slid her hand in and out of a passerby's pocket, relieving it of its contents. She looked down at the pouch that now sat in her hand, and opened it. Oh yeah. Gold.

"This is Celia Thomas." She looked up at the words. Wait. That wasn't Celia. The girl the captain, whom she was just now noticing she had yet to learn the name of, was definitely NOT Celia. The girl before her was tall, had a strong build, was tanned, and had thick black hair. She'd never seen a girl who'd looked less like Celia.

"That's not Celia." Lacey said crossing her arms and huffing.

"Yes I am." The girl, who wasn't Celia, stated plainly.

"No, no you aren't. I know because I kidnapped Celia. You aren't Celia, Celia would have screamed and ran around in circles upon catching sight of us." Lacey said stiffly.

"I assure you I am Celia Thomas, perhaps there are two Celia's though. I am dreadfully sorry that you traveled all the way out here only to discover you've been tracking the wrong Celia for all this time. I would like to offer my services in finding your friend, as it is likely she could be in trouble. If you ended up with the wrong Celia, it is possible someone else has. I'd hate..."

"Stow the sweetness. We don't care. We came here for someone, and you aren't her. We have no business here." Lacey growled, and turned around to head back to the ship, but was stopped by Celia 2.

"Look, I've had my fair trouble in my past, and it sounds as if someone might have your friend confused with me. I'd hate for something bad to happen on my account. Please let me help you find her." Her eyes were sincere, and rueful. Lady's mouth dropped open. Was this girl for real? No one was that sweet. She sincerely hoped the bitch would drop the act soon, or Lacey would refuse to let her come. Someone that 'good' would get real obnoxious, real fast.

"Fine, but you'd better be prepared to do work. As a matter of fact, why don't you start now by getting me some rum?" Lacey's words were cold. Lady grinned.

"Oh coarse, I'd love to. Anything else you want?" Lady put her head in her hands. The look on Lacey's face was making it worthwhile though. Maybe the obnoxious little shit would be worth something. If she could use her to annoy Lacey, than it was worth any cost.

Lacey shook her head, and watched Celia 2 walk off to go find rum. Lady grinned, an evil plot forming in her evil mind. This would be great, in only a matter of time the original Celia would be in her grasp, and this new Celia would prove useful. Damn was she mean.

Celia was on top of George, her fists pounding into him. Okay, she probably wasn't inflicting any pain, but who the hell gave half a rat's ass. So long as she was causing at least mild discomfort, she could walk away a happy woman.

"Would you stop alre-"his words were stopped by Celia landing one right across his face. She leapt off him cradling her hand. First a boo-boo, now an owie, what was next? She whimpered, and tears flooded her eyes. Okay she wasn't 'kind of' a pansy; she was one. Although, with some grim satisfaction, she had to admit landing a punch across George's face was worth it. Well it was, up until she realized that Jack was hunched over laughing insanely. Okay, not all out victory, but it was close enough. Besides, Jack was going to get his next.

"What are you laughing at, chuckles? You're next." She said wiping the tears from her eyes, and putting on what she hopped was an 'angry' face. In reality the face was more of a 'constipated' one than an 'angry' one, but what Celia didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

"Oooow. I'm shakin' in me boots." He said grinning, and straitening up from his hunched position. Dickweed.

Once again, sorry. I'll admit I'm working on another story. It's not a fanfic though, I'm debating posting it on a site or not. If I do, I'll let you know where, and under what title, as always feedback is appreciated. (Yeah this chapter wasn't as funny as others, I was mainly aiming to give a more clear, less friendly view of Lady. She's out to get Celia ya know.)


End file.
